One hundred sixty eight hours.
Ten thousand eighty minutes.
Six hundred four thousand eight hundred seconds.
My time in my twenties is vanishing fast and time is limited.
But what is not limited is my time to live a wonderful life without any attachments, baggage, or restrictions; and I have the time to enjoy precious moments and memories with friends and family.
I read an article a few days ago that really disturbed me and hasn’t left my mind since – thus my lack of blogging.
I’ve been trying to wrap my head around how I can appropriately and clearly dismiss the depressing thoughts Derek Clemens-Linder’s blog post presented.
If you’d like a preface to my blog, you can click the title below – self-explanatory as to where I’m headed with this.
Clemens-Linder morbidly compares someone who is single during summer to “a tightly sealed jar of pulverized ash and bone.”
The author also notes that “summer is for lovers” to “wake up every morning excited for a new adventure with their true love and best friend,” and if that’s not you, “you should probably be rotting six feet under the ground.”
He even goes so far to make humor of a very sensitive subject by questioning if you’d “much rather just cease to exist in one quick, brutal instant” than be single.
Wow. I think someone needs a hug.
Hopelessly In Love? No Thanks.
So what does it really mean to be ‘hopelessly in love’ anyway?
Dictionary.com defines being ‘hopeless’ as ‘providing no hope; beyond optimism or hope; desperate.’
Dictionary.com defines ‘love’ as ‘a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.’
Now when I try to put these two together to be ‘hopelessly in love,’ I’m coming to the conclusion that it really doesn’t sound that great.
Why would I want to be hopeless in love if being in love is supposed to be one of the greatest things in the world? Yet, if being in love is such a great thing, then how can it be hopeless?
No Summer Lovin’ …. Still Had Me A Blast
I’ve spent more summers as a single woman than I have in a relationship and it was not only absolutely intentional, but also incredibly successful.
It’s safe to say that everyone has had a depressing ‘why me’ or a single’s pity party of their own at some point in their life, but very few of us really stay in that mode for an extended period of time.
Mr. Clemens-Linder, have you ever spent a summer as a single guy? Are you aware of the endless possibilities of fun, love, laughs, and memories made with others (especially best friends) when you are single?
You can still do all the love-bird things discussed in the article; so why do you have to be ‘hopelessly in love” with that forever person to do it?
However, there is the chance that this article hits home to those who are not comfortable being on their own. I know many people that consistently jump from one relationship to another without any breathing room – a revolving relationship door.
I believe you can find your true love in almost any way; but if you are not comfortable as the individual you are and being your own very best company – how can you expect to be that for someone else?
When I got to college, I knew that I would date, but I had no intentions of finding ‘true love’ or a committed relationship. My goals and visions were set and there was no way that I was going to let a boyfriend be any sort of hindrance – not even a thought in the back of my mind – to where I wanted to go to do what I wanted to achieve.
When I completed both Master degrees and had a full time job, I was more open to the idea of a relationship and maybe even ‘settling down.’ Gosh, those words still give me the chills.
Since then, my three relationships consisted of two that were out of pure convenience – one more stupidity than the other – and one is what I still believe to be a true love at the wrong time.
What’s The Rush?
Many people assume that I’m having a bit of a hard time turning 30 because I’m not engaged or married or have children yet. Heck, alot of guys I meet are even surprised that by ‘my age’ I don’t have any ‘baggage.’
The marriage and baby waves seem to hit every other year in your twenties. It’s never just one person tying the knot or creating a new life, it’s always a handful at a time; but it’s just enough to make you wonder for the nano-second if your time is running out.
And then you come back to reality….. and realize that you are living your life exactly the way you want and you have no regrets because the best is yet to come! (that’s what you all are telling me anyway)
“Expect The Best And Never Settle For Less”
Ah, the wise words of my dear friend Erica Chao aka @mamasmission. I don’t always like what she has to say, but this one I’ll thank for and agree with her.
Why is it so hard for people to understand that I am perfectly OK with being ALMOST thirty and not have the family and picket fence?
Are you kidding me? I LOVE MY LIFE!!
People recognize that I’m naturally drawn to children and always ask if I want kids of my own. My answer: I just don’t want kids; I want a family. I want the whole package. I’m not going to settle for any guy just so I can have children and do what’s ‘expected.’
And until then, I have these little munchkins to give me my baby fix!
Would it be fabulous to have all this right now? Maybe. I’m not even sure I’m ready for that. I still like being the master of my own destiny and living life to the fullest. I like being able to do what I want, when I want and with whom I want. So yea, I may be a little too selfish for kids right now – but there’s always room for a partner in crime along the way.
Clemens-Linder’s blog claims that summer is “when life slows down.” Maybe for kids and some teachers out of school, and maybe other occupations that have a slower economic seasons, but to whom else does this refer?
Success does not slow down.
Persistence does not slow down.
Determination does not slow down.
Hope does not slow down.
Love does not slow down.
And I, Tiffany DiPanni, will surely not slow down….
Especially not as a sexy-single-flirty-ALMOST-thirty woman this summer!!!
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